adoption information for getting started

Understanding which adoption path is right for you.

Private Adoption
(through an agency)

• There is a huge variation in agencies- interview multiple!
• Agencies will help screen birth moms & share your information with potential matches. That said, depending on the agency, you may find yourself waiting behind families that signed on with the agency before you.
• Agencies will typically recommend that you simultaneously promote yourself, too, rather than just wait for a match to happen through them
• Agencies often provide valuable programs for birth moms & hopeful adoptive parents

Independent Adoption
(directly through the birth mom + attorneys)

• With this option, you will need to promote yourselves through different forums (promoting your website, word of mouth, social media, business cards)
• Independent adoptions can only be domestic (within the US)
• Search for an attorney who is well-versed in adoption through finding one who is a member of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys: adoptionart.org

Public Adoption
(through foster care)

• There are many children in foster care who are awaiting forever families (parental rights have already been terminated). They are typically older children.
• “Foster to adopt” is publicized as an option. This is the concept of becoming foster parents with the goal of adopting a child in your care. That said, the goal of foster care is reunification with families- NOT adoption. While there are definitely situations where adoption becomes the goal, it isn't the first option.

International Adoption is another route to consider. Since we did not go this route, we will be more focused on the domestic adoption process.

open & closed adoptions

Determine the relationship you are willing to have with the birth family.

Open Adoption

• Open adoptions are becoming the standard for the benefit of everyone involved
• There is a large spectrum! Not every open adoption looks the same. You may have access to the birth family to answer questions or have visits and an ongoing relationship with them
• Adopted children will have questions as they grow up and open adoptions provide an opportunity for more answers

Closed Adoption

• Closed adoptions were common in the past due to the historical secretive nature of adoption where adoptees may not have even known they were adopted and the stigma around unplanned pregnancies.
• Closed adoptions may lead to more questions and challenges about the adoptee’s identity and story
• Birth families may also have more emotional challenges with a closed adoption with not knowing the outcome and feeling cut off permanently

Every situation is different – follow the birth mom's lead.

jumping into the adoption process

Consider your criteria

Working with an Adoption Agency

• Agencies will have criteria for evaluating the families they take on
• Agencies will likely ask you to fill out a form that indicates how open you are to certain situations (child’s age, race, gender, alcohol/drug exposure, mental health history, disabilities, etc.)
• Adoption agencies can be expensive (paying for agency, legal processes, home study, your own promotion)

Working Independently

• You are in control (you can always promote yourself independently while also working with an agency)
• You will need to find an adoption attorney to work to help you navigate the process and legalities
• Working independently can be more affordable (paying for legal processes, home study, your own promotion)

Interviewing Adoption Agencies

• What services do you provide the expectant women?
• How many families are waiting and do you have a cut off of how many families you can take?
• Is there a licensed attorney on staff?
• How long is your typical wait before being shown to expectant women?
• What is the fee structure?
• Are there eligibility requirements for us to be considered (age, health)?

Interviewing Adoption Attorneys

• How many adoptive families do you represent annually? Birth mothers?
• How many of these are interstate adoptions?
• Will you recommend a social worker for our home study?
• Will you help match us? (The answer here is probably NO - typically only birth mothers or licensed agencies can be the ones to determine a “match”)
• Will you help the expectant mother that we are matched with find an attorney? (Your attorney should not represent both sides!)
• How do you break up your fees?
• Will you help facilitate paying expectant mother expenses (The answer here should be YES!)
• All financial aspects of adoption should be facilitated through an attorney. You should never give money directly to an expectant woman - this could legally look like human trafficking (paying a woman directly for her baby). Just don’t!

getting a home study

Every adoption requires a home study

Home Study Process

Part of the home study includes checking out your home, but the majority of the home study is an interview & paperwork.

If you are working with an agency, make sure you get a home study the agency will accept (usually the agency will want to do the home study). If you are working independently you have more flexibility in who does your home study – ask your Adoption Attorney for some recommendations!

Your home study includes:

• Background checks/Fingerprints
• Family history
• Historical addresses
• Income/asset information

When the social worker comes to your home, they will interview you and your significant other (if applicable).

They will likely ask:

• Perspectives on parentings
• Motivation to adopt
• Openness to a variety of different situations
• Historical information- how you grew up, education, occupations

Things to Consider

When thinking about your comfort level with the adoption situations you would like to be considered for, our advice is to keep your parameters pretty OPEN. You will always have the opportunity to review situations case by case. If you want to be shown to more expectant mothers, indicate that you are “willing to consider” most situations.

We strongly encourage you to talk to medical providers to have a bigger picture of what certain exposures, mental health history, and disabilities may look like. Remember that at the end of the day, you are not in control of your future baby’s exposure, health, or history. You may never know those details. If you are adopting with a partner, make sure you are on the same page!

If you are considering adopting a child outside of your own race - do your homework. Evaluate internal biases, your neighborhood, your schools, the amount of exposure your child will have to people who look like them. Understand that there will be differences from how you grew up and make sure you are willing to embrace these differences and commit to not ignoring the differences.

Your home study will expire and need to be renewed after a period of time.

promoting your authentic self/selves

Be prepared to start promoting once your home study is complete

The best piece of advice we received when it comes to promoting that you are adopting is: shout it from the rooftops! Are you a private person? Not about this!

We were told that our pursuit of an independent adoption would come to fruition through a friend of a friend’s neighbor’s babysitter who heard we were adopting through word of mouth and honestly it was not that far off in our situation – we had 5 degrees of separation between us and our daughter’s birth mom.

When you are creating promotional materials, really think about highlighting the most crucial things that capture your personality and lifestyle quickly. You do not need to include every single detail - keep it focused. Images, gifs, and videos can do a lot of heavy lifting! Remember most people do not want to read through walls of text - photos and concise language keep people interested!

Be authentic and create space for an expectant woman to want to get to know more about you.

Personal Adoption Website

A website that feels authentic and captures your personality & life in a clear, concise way is crucial. Let us help you create the perfect website!

Slice of Life/Interview Video

We recommend creating a short video (2 – 4 minutes) to help birth mom's get a glimpse of your daily life! View our video

PDF/Digital/Printed Profiles

A profile book in a printed or digital format. This is another way to share a snapshot of your life. Some agencies may require. Let us design your profile!

Social Media

Use social media to get the word out! It is amazing how much support you will get and re-shares!. Do a call to share in each post - specifically ask people to share!

Facebook

• Do facebook post pushes that link to your website or video and personally ask friends & family to re-share your posts!
• Post in neighborhood groups, church groups, any groups that you are able to post in! When we posted our story in groups, it got so many shares.
• There are Facebook groups that connect hopeful adoptive parents with women who are considering an adoption plan. Search out these groups and post there!

Instagram

• Create public instagram handle specifically for adoption to showcase your daily life!
• Use adoption hashtags (#hopingtoadopt #domesticadoption, #lovemakesafamily, #adoptionjourney, #openadoption #waitingtoadopt)

Email

Email different organizations to let them know you are adopting. We chose to email churches since we are Christian and in our experience people may turn to the church when in crisis or seeking help.

Adoption Matching Websites

You can create a profiles on adoption matching websites like adoptimist.com. Be wary of scammers on sites like this!

understanding the adoption tax credit

Get a refund on your adoption expenses!

Expenses toward adoption can be credited to you from the Federal Adoption Tax credit.

• For 2021 the maximum tax credit is $14,440 per child. (we will update with 2022 soon, it will likely be a little more)
• Expenses can include agency fees, attorney fees, home study fees, traveling expenses, “other” expenses directly related to adoption (such as - the cost to promote yourself with website fees, costs of business cards, etc., or birth mother pregnancy expenses if allowed by your state.)
• The credit is nonrefundable meaning that it goes toward the amount you pay in taxes. Any credit in excess of your tax liability can be applied for up to 5 years after finalization.

adoption website design & development

Let us help create an adoption website that captures you and your life

Creating Your Website

We would love to help design & develop your adoption website. We can help you from start to finish.

We will take care of everything: registering a domain, setting up hosting, designing your custom website, and developing it!

Working with us:

To start, we would love to connect with you to learn about your story & where you are in your adoption journey. Email (hello@scottandanna.com) or text us (585-210-2096) to set up a time for a quick chat! We look forward to talking to you.

Website Content
After connecting, we ask that you write the content for your website in your own words. We want to make sure the website sounds like you! We also will need you to provide images and video clips (go through the videos on your phone and look for fun moments). Use our website as a reference to get started: Adoption Website Example

Website Domain & Hosting
We will register a domain name of your choice and set up hosting for it.

Website Design & Development
We will design and develop a custom modern responsive website that works well across all devices. Let us know if there are any styles/colors or design examples you like!

Free Website Updates
We will provide free website updates, including copy tweaks and image updates during the first year.